


in between

by atemzug



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Light Angst, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atemzug/pseuds/atemzug
Summary: Lee Minho, 23, been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hong Joochan/Han Jisung | Han, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 23
Collections: MINSUNG SEASON: Colourful Autumn 2020





	in between

**Author's Note:**

> written for [**minsung season 2020**](https://twitter.com/minsungseason)!
> 
> inspiration is the color **violet** as well as the song [violet by pentagon](https://youtu.be/9A-xrTnIlOw). it's a bit vague, but to explain it a little: violet is a color that has both warm and cold tones, that's where the title "in between" comes from. also, if you have time to watch the mv i linked, it kinda has a story of, like, different points in a relationship (i'm sure there'd be a comment about this somewhere there), i tried to replicate that just a little bit, thus the non-linear narrative. the exact dates are inconsequential, but they're supposed to give a feel of which season they're in because.. minsung.. _seasons_.. anyway, that's only MY interpretation! feel free to think anything, since this is for your consumption after all. ^^
> 
> thank you _mod_ for this event! (and for reading through the draft of this mess and assuring me that the sentences make sense ^___^)
> 
> also: **happiest birthday lino! <3** [whispers] jisung loves you a lot

_I wanted to take you in my heart_ _  
_ _Maybe it was my greed_ _  
_ _When will I stop missing you?_

_Do you miss me a little bit?_ _  
_ _Are the days when the world was full of you_ _  
_ _Only in my memories now?_

_—Pentagon, Violet_

  
  
  


**10/25/2020**

**_00:00_ ** **_  
_ ** **_han_j_1_ ** _: happy birthday hyung~!!!!_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: did u get our present?? ^^_

 **_00:01_ ** **_  
_ ** **_han_j_1_ ** _: im sorry we cant be there today_ _ㅠㅠ_

It's the first time since Minho can remember that Jisung isn't with him on his birthday. Ever since the latter moved to a different city for college a year and a half ago, they haven't had as much time to talk - much less hang out - and while Minho believes that doesn't affect their friendship, there's a pang of jealousy in his chest, a nagging voice inside his head screaming _That should've been me- that could’ve been me._

He sighs, his eyes flitting towards the package wrapped in pretty lavender paper that he’s sure Jisung wasn’t the one to pick. 

Minho is very seldom sentimental. He's not the type to reminisce on memories, especially ones he knows he can never get back, the _could've beens_ and the _should've beens_. But throughout his life there are memories he certainly wants to relive. Some just because he wishes to experience them again, some because he wishes he could do things differently, and because there are several things he should've known from the start. 

  
  
  


**03/25/2017**

It only took Minho and his friends two years and a graduation ceremony for the trip they've been planning since they were in middle school to happen - oh, and a whole lot of whining and convincing from a certain Han Jisung, who seems to be enjoying this the most.

Minho can't help but smile at the scene in front of him, looking like it came straight out of a cheesy, coming-of-age web drama. The sun setting in the horizon, bathing everything in a soft rosy glow, while fire cackles silently and his friends raise lighters up in the air while singing their hearts out to empty pop songs. The salty smell of the sea filling his nostrils. The male lead turning around, smiling brightly at him, shouting _Hyung!_ at the top of his lungs to the point that it's embarrassing, just as the camera shutter clicks.

And just as Minho realizes: he's in love.

  
  
  


**02/08/2016**

"Any tips on starting high school?" Hyunjin asks on a cold Saturday morning while they're on a run. 

Minho has just finished the last of his exams yesterday, and would very much like to not think about school at all. "Don't sweat it," he answers.

"What do you mean, _don't sweat it?_ " Seungmin asks. "It's high school," he says. As if that explains anything.

"That's exactly why you shouldn't sweat it," Jisung butts in. He looks at Minho and flashes him a big smile. "I'm excited for high school since hyung's gonna be there."

Minho almost trips and falls.

"I wish I didn't have to go to school with you guys," Seungmin mutters quietly.

But the only thing Minho can hear is the quick, loud beating of his heart, which he dismisses as an effect of cardio. 

  
  
  


**11/16/2018**

Minho waits outside Jisung's apartment building, an entire bag of convenience store food sitting beside him on the curb, ready for binging. 

The _suneung_ should have finished at least half an hour ago, if Minho were to trust Seungmin's update in their KaTalk GC. Or maybe Seungmin just finished early. 

"Hyung!" Jisung's voice proves the thought wrong. 

Minho stands up, naturally falling into place beside Jisung as they both enter the building. "How was it?" he asks. 

The younger just shrugs. "Don't know, don't care."

Minho clicks his tongue. "You should at least care."

"I'm just happy you're here, hyung." Jisung stops right outside his door to face the other. "Hyunjin and Seungmin's parents both went to pick them up earlier. They invited me for dinner too, but I didn't want to intrude in their celebration. They're all so sure Seungmin's gonna get into a _SKY_ university."

Minho wouldn't want anyone to know, but looking at Jisung, his heart swells with so many feelings he can't even put a name on. He wants to kiss or smack Jisung - or both - for ever thinking that he's alone when Minho's always been there. But he does none of those. Instead, he raises the bag of food and tells Jisung, "Let's have our own celebration then."

  
  
  


**03/20/2015**

"Go," Minho tells Jisung, after the latter told him about his family's plans to leave for Malaysia this summer.

"I don't want to," Jisung replies.

"But isn't your entire family going?"

"Yeah."

"Why would you stay when they're all gonna leave?"

"I just don't want to go."

"Why?" Minho asks. He tells himself he's trying to make Jisung see some reason, because why indeed would he stay here, alone, when his entire family plans to go and stay abroad for god-knows-how-long? 

Jisung clicks his tongue, his eyebrows knotting in frustration. "I just don't want to, okay?" he says. "Just drop it, hyung."

And Minho has to stop himself from asking again, because he realizes how selfish it is that what he really wants to hear is that Jisung wants to stay because of him.

  
  
  


**10/03/2014**

Half the time, Minho doesn’t know if Jisung is being serious. The other half, he's sure Jisung just doesn’t realize the weight of the words that come out of his mouth.

Like now, when he nudges Minho by the foot as they’re trying to fit themselves in the small couch, each leaning on opposite sides like they’re still the kids they used to be a decade ago. "Hyung," he says. 

"Hm?" Minho replies absently, still not giving up on the obviously futile attempt at paying attention to the film they’re watching. 

"If we're not yet married by 30, will you marry me?"

And Minho almost chokes on his spit. "Jisung," he says, "you're 15. That's, like, another half of your life." 

"So?"

"So, how can you think about that?"

Jisung shrugs. "I just like spending time with hyung."

"It's not like we can't spend time together if we're not married."

"You're right!" Jisung exclaims, eyes shining and grinning widely. "But don't you think getting married would be nice?"

  
  
  


**09/14/2019**

**_00:00_ ** **_  
_ ** **_lmh_98_ ** _: happy birthday_ _  
_ **_lmh_98_ ** _: still a decade to go before we get married ㅋㅋㅋ_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: thanks hyung~!!!_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: u dont have to worry abt that now tho ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ_ _  
_ **_lmh_98_ ** _: why?_ _  
_ **_lmh_98_ ** _: u gonna ask me 2 marry u now?_

 **_00:02_ ** **_  
_ ** **_han_j_1_ ** _: HA!_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: wouldnt that be nice huh_

Wouldn't that be nice.

 **_00:03_ ** **_  
_ ** **_han_j_1_ ** _: remember the dude in my music academy a couple years ago?_

 **_00:05_ ** **_  
_ ** **_lmh_98_ ** _: the one who "plays EVERY instrument in the world"?_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: thats the one!!_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: met him again at uni~!!!!!! ^^_

  
  
  


**08/11/2015**

"Hyung, there’s this new dude in my music academy," Jisung announces one night while they were eating ramen at a convenience store, before Minho has to go to cram school too.

He grunts, slurping his ramen without giving much thought to what the other just said. There’s always someone new in Jisung’s music academy, anyway; one time it was a guy from Australia, a few weeks ago it was a girl from Canada, just the other day it was a kid from Busan. 

This time: “He’s a genius, hyung,” is what Jisung introduces him as. “He can play every instrument in the world!”

At that, Minho looks up. It’s not unusual for Jisung to exaggerate when he tells stories, but it’s also not always that he’s very generous with his compliments. “ _Every_ instrument?” Minho asks, skeptical— and maybe something else too.

“Well, not really. Just the guitar and the piano.”

“Right.” He feels something in his stomach churn. Maybe the ramen was too spicy. “Genius.”

“He said he also plays the violin,” Jisung adds, “but we didn’t see it earlier. I hope he brings it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, cool,” Minho mumbles. He swallows the last of his ramen, and along with it an uncomfortable feeling that’s bubbling in his chest. 

  
  
  


**10/25/2020**

Sometimes Minho allows himself to think: _Jisung could've been his, too- Jisung should've been his._

But he was scared, whether he admits it or not. He didn't want to think of what could've happened if things didn't end up going well, afraid that at the end of the line he might not have a place beside Jisung. And maybe he's naïve, and selfish, for even thinking that he would always be the one Jisung runs to at the end of the day. 

**_00:05_ ** **_  
_ ** **_lmh_98_ ** _: its fine_ _  
_ **_lmh_98_ ** _: and tell joochan thanks for the gift_ _  
_ **_lmh_98_ ** _: i know u had nothing to do w choosing it_

 **_00:12_ ** **_  
_ ** **_han_j_1_ ** _: heh ... u got me ^^a_ _  
_ **_han_j_1_ ** _: sorry again hyung!! lets meet up on the next holiday~_

 **_00:13_ ** **_  
_ ** **_lmh_98_ ** _: its fine jisung._

Minho is very seldom sentimental. He's not the type to reminisce on memories, especially ones he knows he can never get back, the _could've beens_ and the _should've beens_. But throughout his life there are memories filled with happiness that are now tinged with sadness, and there are things he should've known from the start but doesn't know what to make of now.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
> linking here [pentagon's latest mv](https://youtu.be/W7ZIz4w9Edo) just because.
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/crashingfalling)


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